26 / 3 / 2012 ---- 这些天

从那天，下定决心和克制自己的时候
就知道，这种过程和经历是很难熬的...

Someone，是很想你的。
但，总告诉自己不可以...
虽然，清楚的明白知道自己已经深陷了...

不懂为何，近来的自己
总爱吃你爱吃的快餐食物...
也许，这也是想念你的一种方式吧~
是的，我想你。





这些天，让自己深刻的印象。
一对老人，男的推着坐在轮椅上的女的。
老太太其实没什么快乐的表情
车上的每个人都是麻木累垮的表情...

而自己，戴着耳机听着 mp3 闭目养神...
突然，听见一阵笑声和拍手声...
看见老太太和一个 baby 在互动着..
呵呵...
那个 baby 很可爱...
轻轻的一兜，一个表情
就很欢乐的笑呵呵，挥手摇摆着...
老太太仿佛充满了生气~~


对呀~
每个人的抵挡不了 baby 的纯真可爱
每个人面对社会和生活，都带上伪装坚强的面具且已经很烦忧了
唯独，面对纯真的 baby
就会卸下心房
逗着，玩着，和 baby...小孩玩乐着...

自己就是那一份子...
且超爱的...
哈哈...
和 baby...小孩玩乐后...
仿佛就会把烦忧带走...
因为，欢笑和快乐多余忧愁...



周六和周日，
放任自己出去走走...
和一些朋友聚一聚...
虽然，工作后再出来聚一聚挺累的...
但，能看到不同的东西...
是值得的...

是习惯了
放工后回家休息吗？
有点不太习惯和累于夜生活...
开始当回啊宅了~~
haha...


但，四月头
一定要让自己享受点点和放纵变坏一下~~
XD



年轻时，让自己坏一点。
年长了，就会更定了~~
哈哈哈....
好似歪理，却又不无道理....






上周六日外出，
意想不到那魅力依然持续...
依然能吸引 G 的目光...
甚至，经过后仍然得到回头率的观望....
哈哈哈....

会持续到老吗？

XD

20 / 3 / 2012 ---- A Day with a deep sigh...

Well...

今天又让您在众人面前下我面子，面子我不计较。
只是无奈于我尽我能力做好每件事，仍得不到你的认同。
挺多客人对我的称赞鼓励，你无视。
新人只有一封被人称赞就被你捧上天...
半年了，为何只流放我在总部呢？
一直以来都是我一个人在打战而已...
其实，真的很累的...
但，有什么办法？

老板，其实您在耍什么把戏？



放工后，坐着顺风车到 Bishan mrt station
站在放脚踏车的地方
吃着午饭时购买的炒面当晚餐...
我知道我的行为很奇怪...
但，无所谓吧~
我是我，还是一样的活...

我知道也感觉到自己越来越保护自己和冷漠...




抵达回家的火车站
在回家的路途中，致电给爸爸
因为昨日表妹告知我,爸爸的脚肿了...

问候了，聊天了
爸，
知道你的语气口吻带开玩笑和轻松的...
但，我知道事实...
对不起，暂时不能回家帮你...
让大弟和小弟帮你和培养独立承受的能力先吧~

我知道，5年多自己在外面读书，打工，生活。
唯独，前年让自己留在家乡一年陪伴你们...
但，我的职位在家乡难找吃...
薪水也超低...

唯有让自己飞来这里赚钱，储钱为未来...
当然，还有给你们...
给我点时间...
现在的我，正慢慢的迈了一点点的小步于我的目标...
很快的...相信我...


也对不起你，爸...
现在，应该是你退休享福的时候，
却还要在工作...
大弟和小弟还无法真正掌托你白手起家的生意...
虽然，不是很大...
但，要维持一盘生意是不容易的...

当然，我也知道
大弟有他的梦想的...
等我回来后，就让他去飞吧~


最后，
希望家里每个人都能平安健康快乐...

18 / 3 / 2012 ---- Don't know why

Really don't know why....

For those thing / food that which is your favour...
I would so craving & eat it...
Isn't the other way showing that IMY...?
Maybe yes...maybe no...
sound so ridiculous...

I knew I'm greedy...
Trying get near to you...
Try conversation with you...
but...
the way that you treated
it's so strange...
I'm asking & telling...
You answer maybe...





20th March 的感想
其实，真的想忘记你...
为什么？
因为，我知道 "wasnl" 也不可能忘记你...
所以，想 ‘忘记’ 你。
这样，自己就不会不知觉的去看你，知道你的消息...

人，很矛盾的...
加上自己天生的，面对的，经历的...
生活太多矛盾了...

Hey，
何时能回到当初相处那摸样？
hmm...
天晓得~


不管怎样，好好照顾自己吧~
TAN

13 / 3 / 2012 ---- Missing Backpacking time

Recently was viewing a friend start backpacking alone album...
Flash back myself backpacking time...
Even alone, but it do let me feel & learn lots...
There is something $ can't buy...

Today, have a walk in customer...
Was doing name card...
That time can said was quite free...
Looking at his name card...
It's was about travel...

Was start our conversation...
Talking about travel things...
This client was a photographer...
aha...
He was asking me, Do I like photography ?
Yes, for sure...
I love it...
Been ask whether want to join them to travel to Bhutan around June - July...
Was talking about the fees...

Hhmmmm... quite expensive for me...
haha...
thanks for his invite..
Ya, I knew is a very special trip...
Well... I will have chance to go there... =)

Was slowly fulfill every steps of my life & targets.
I can.. =)

12 / 3 / 3012 ----- 超人不會飛

睡眠不足的早晨
基于....
算失眠吧~~


算倒霉的早晨吗？
大略早晨十点多
被老板叫进去，被开枪扫射...
没话题找话题来扫射..
=\


把所有都忍着...
无奈也不能怎样....
想起了一首歌 《超人不会飞》
的确挺安慰的...

超人...
是超人又如何？
却是一个不会飞的超人...

今天，一整天都在 repeat 这首歌
慢慢的调试心情...
其实，这首歌
让我想起了自己一个人在 UK 读书的时候
做artwork...briefing 的时候...
Idea... 常常都会被 banned 掉
真的很无奈的...

还记得，有一天...
Idea 算被接受了...
很早的放学后，放自己在一个 buidling 的花园里...
坐在树底下，吹着微风...
看着花瓣掉落在身边，听着歌...
自我安慰和放松自己...

也还记得让自己溜达在学院的小森林里...
感受大自然树林的气息...
安静的....步行着....
看着树木，阳光...
听着小鸟歌唱，吹着微冷的风....
让自己的脑袋放空放松...
这是自己一个人的娱乐...



不久后，
换个思维方式思考...
也许，老板是为我好...
唯有，往这种方向思考...
才能让自己不那么沮丧...
虽然，明知道他老爱抓着他人的小尾巴放肆放大的来踩着你...


就当做，的确是自己还不够好吧~
需要改进来进步自己更过...
让自己更好...


很多时候，工作还挺累人的...
尤其算是自己一个人在总公司...
有时候，还真想让时间停留
让自己停一停歇...
让自己有时间看一看周遭...
放松自己看一看世界...

当超人，真的很难...的...
可是，选择了...
不管多难，还是会走下去...


“不要问我哭过了没
因为超人不能流眼泪..”

11/3/2012 ----- Music & Light Festival Sunday

Woke up early around 10.30am
cook breakfast
Eat like a KING...

Out around 2.45pm to meet a fren at Bugis...
Today was a raining day...
The other frens was meet at 6pm at City Hall


Around 3.20pm by taking bus,
Walking around Bugis for waiting fren coming...
Have a short meet & chat...

After all,
take Mrt going to City Hall...

Once arrive not longer time...
Get a call by dad...
We chit chat on the phone call...
Ya~ I didn't really call back...
Sound like I'm 不孝...
Never miss family...
Just don't wish to let everyone call back...

Maybe I'm not living with family when I"m still a child..
Train to be independent...
Anything just done by all alone myself...
Don't let everyone worry about me...

Somemore, all of you was back home quite late when after work...
Knew all of you was tired to be...
Better don't disturb...

For granny as well...
Once younger bro was not at home...
Nobody can't open skype to see each other...
Webcam is better than phone call...
At least, all of you can see how am I...
I knew...
I still can pretend I'm very good in here...
Just not let everyone of you how actual am I...

I knew after chit chat...
Granny sure dream of me...
Talking once dreaming...
This is all my cousin sis told me...

Somemore heard that recently Granny was in sick... =\
Been less going to excersice...
sigh... =(


Was asking how the rental in here...
Ya, is quite expensive..
But, no worries...
I'm always the one who can settle by my own...
I can...
Let me slowly fulfill everything...
I will come back to you all...
This HOME & FAMILY
everyone is on my shoulder...
I can carry it...

Finish talking with dad...
Is mum turn...
chit chat while...
Mum, you knew I'm at the outside...
Was said goodbye & hang up call in early...
(felt that... every our family is like this... dun feel like disturb ppl...)


Was meet frens around 6pm
Go have a dinner together...
Was try walking to Marina Bay

Pass by Esplanade
Going in... Enjoy some art....music, light festival...
Suddenly, My mind was flash out & think that...


Well, *just forget it*
Doesnt need to mention in here....


On the half way...
Frens was found out their left out their package on the restaurant...
Was going back to the restaurant again... lol
Quite tired to talking here & there....
Somemore is Sunday Night...
haha...

After get thing back...
They was asking me Why do I put my ex picture on the cover timeline...
Well~~
actually this is the shot that I quite satisfied even till now...

For sure.. I knew still have the other reason...
because of I saw..................................
than feel like..........ermmm......
well well...
lol


Anyway...
The music festival was quite nice...
Was feel like going again...
Due to it will just end at the 18th March.
I will try spend my whole day & let myself enjoy at there...

Not to hang on the line....
Just waiting for someone who're not really will find me automatically...
Just...just... a little time... will suddenly pop out told me thing...
And will make me thought that isn't she had send wrong message...
ha...like me sound so stupid....
hmmm.. =\


Well...
kena rain in today...
headahce...
drinks a pack chi medicine...
Hope get well by tomorrow & can fight well on work...

Get well soon~~ Tan CL...
Good night world...

9 / 3 / 2012 ---- 每一天

今天
一整天似的
老板都不在

挺自在的~~
也放松的赶快完成一切的一切~~
准时的放工回家~~

至少，
是还能看见夕阳的彩霞回家...

虽然，今天才 9 号而已...
希望生意能多多快快...
这样才能赚 commission 储蓄更多的钱...
希望能储蓄 $500 以上 或更多...
这样才能为未来和对家人好一点...


不懂为何，今天的脑袋很清爽...

其实，很多事情...
早已知道结局和答案...
只是，总是对自己要自己相信还有点可能和希望...
其实，不然...
何必呢？
人啊~
总是有那么一点傻 和 坚持...
才能体会和感受另外一种的一别不同...

回头看看和望着从前一篇篇所写的...
当然是知道...
那些中心，仿佛放在某个人身上...
包括前任...

我是承认的...
也知道自己是必须更改的...
毕竟，很少人会把你看得很重...
除了，家人和你自己...
要把注意力转移回到自己的身上....


TAN CL
其实....
你真的不差的...
你没有发现，当你把注意力和能量注入回自己时...
你是能发光和发亮的...
还挺多人注意你的...
要加油~！！！
好好的善待自己...！！！
好吗？？

只待那个懂得珍惜，爱惜，懂你和对的人出现。
在那个人还未出现前，疼爱自己多点。
要记得上边说的话..  :)
你可以的~！！！！







放工途中
经过一间介绍外劳女佣的公司
看见里头一个人
应该是经理吧~
拿着一间衣服责骂那个外劳女佣和把衣服扔向她...

心里很酸和很同情...
却也无能为力...

在心里和自己说...
要好好的过好每一天...
毕竟，生命不长...
要让每一天都过得好...
过的充实...
不管经历些什么...
因为，
每经历一些事，
总会让自己成长
和为各自的生命故事
写下不同的趣味...



愿每个人都安好...
尤其是，我所有的家人...
希望大家都健健康康的...
平安快乐就好~~

=)

6 / 3 / 2012 ---- 你的眼睛

今天，看见你新 post 自己的自拍照。

头发的颜色，让我想起前度也是很喜欢这颜色。
而自己在去年也染过这颜色....




看着你的眼睛
有个念头
很深很深的烙印在心里

“看着你的眼睛，根本不舍得伤害你。”


还记得吗？
曾告诉你...
你有一双很漂亮的眼睛...

要记的好好的保护那双眼睛。
因为，眼睛是我们的灵魂之窗。
不要让任何东西污浊了那双清澈的眼睛...




好了，就写到这里....

晚安

3 / 3 / 2012 ---- Tired Day

Awake before my alarm setting around 7.45am.

Why awake that early….?

Just because of someone…

I knew it sound silly…

But…

As you ask for…

I agree…I promise…

I will take this responsible to done it…

I had forgotten how many calls that I had called.

I just knew, have 2 times..

I was bit falling asleep.

For sure, I still awake of it…

Until you awake & get reply the call.

As you ask for…

Should be very important…

I just try my best….

For the truth that you want to get awake in early… you had told me in the phone while I called you when I’m at JB that time…

原来…是这一回事…

没有太大的不爽，不喜欢还是什么…

只是平静的接受，你所说的…

After make sure you’re awake for your thing…

Was continuing resting while…

Wake around 9.30am, start prepare…

Out around 10.20am… Due to waiting roommate…

Going to Bank amend some stuff & info.

While on the way going to…

Get call from company…

Huh…

After all… ntg call back…

I think they settle it by themselves…

While await roommate another fren going to jb as well…

Randomly know Elaine & Carmen from roommate’s fren, David.

Why going to jb ?

• Save my 1TB harddisk, hope & wish it can be survive.
• Haircut
• Change my beloved watch battery

Took out my harddisk discuss with David,

The problem is same with what I thought as well…

Suddenly & don’t know why..

Carmen keep talking with me & ask me questions..

Well.. just treat it as normal social…

Bought a cup of soya milk as my temporary breakfast to prevent my gastric coming…

I knew I need breakfast…

Was waiting for quite a long time…

Finally the bust was arrive which we had been waiting for around half an hour.

Once get up inside the bus, sky was raining.

Due to is 1^st week of the month, lots of s’prean to bought daily stuff.

Ya, quite traffic jam as well.

Around 2pm just arrive jb.

Eat our brunch at Secret Recipe with buddy roommate.

  Ceasar Salad

 

Beef stew steak

Well, jb city square food.

Really nothing can be to eat.

Swt… ==’’’

After all, accompany buddy find things.

Once done, my turn to find computer shop to fix my beloved 1TB.

Some part of the shopping mall was renovation.

Both of us had turn many road side, till get to the right desitnation.

At last, my 1TB can be save.

Hooray~~~!!!

Once random walking, found out a nice shop shoes.

http://crossoverconceptstore.blogspot.com

Hhmmm… all is my taste…

Price is standard with reasonable which with good quality.

Yea, I don’t mind spend on it which is good & nice quality of the material, design & colour.

Take their name card for a remark.

Do will try find shoes in sg.

Hope Clarks will be outcome some good shoes like what I bought in UK.

If not, I mind order handmade shoes on this website.

http://www.feitdirect.com/

Hope can find the most suitable for my own feet.

Around 5-6pm.

We’re going to find roommate’s god sister.

While on the way,

My eyes were too tired.

I was fall asleep in the taxi.

No longer time, was arrive.

I was awake as well.

Erm…

Know baby sis, and her husband.

Both of them are nature, lovely, fun & sweet couple.

Made me feel like to find someone & be with together as nature, sweet & fun like them.

Baby sis bring roommate & I going to have a haircut.

While waiting...

Well, this is the exp haircut that I had.

Because those worker keep push their promo.

And the blurry of me, was follow what they provide to baby sis.

Well well~~

After all, was follow baby sis going back her home.

Waiting her take a bath…

After half an hour, start our way to have dinner…

We going to 1+3

Ya…

I also don’t know why…

Just the name of the place…

lol

Was having so much food…

  Luk mei tong shui

 Thai pork feet + Thai chicken feet salad

 Vietnam 3 flavour different type Popiah

 Chicken Wings

Lol~~

Was so so full…

Even just eat little from each meal…

After dinner, was going to Jusco…

Was quite lots car as well… @,@

Most all car park is full…

OMG… was saw it in 1^st time…

Bought a bottle shower gel, shampoo & conditioner.

After all, was searching stall / shop to repair watch.

Was found, my watch can’t be help.

Just my roommate watch can be help.

=(

Sorry, my beloved watch.

YOU became an hand accessories for now on.

Can’t be a watch anymore…

Hmmm.. =[

After bought things, was accompany baby sis & roommate walk around.

And the time, was calling you have a short talk.

Finally listening your machine gun.

I knew even it’s short.

But do appreciate it.

Emm..

=]

You said will call back,

But I knew.

So never expect of it..

And it never rings up…

After all, was going to baby sis home.

Await taxi going to bus station

But last change to a taxi station which each person paid RM15.

Need 4 people a car straightly go to sg.

Was wait quite long time.

Finally have taxi come over.

Get it car, pass the passport & pass card to the driver.

I was straightly close my eyes have a rest.

While pass by custom

I had waked awhile, than sleep back again.

No longer time, the stranger who sit beside me.

Wake me up & pass back my passport & pass card to me.

Keep safe in bag, sleep again.

Car was stop, awake automatically.

Roommate was told me that arrive bugis.

Well, after pay the $.

Walk to the bus station, took bus going home.

While waiting & change back sg sim card.

Get a msg by Vairie.

Arhh….!!! They’re going to club…

Wish to go… to celebrate & farewell for her…

But sorry that was totally freaking tired in today.

Just message her tell her the truth & ask her to enjoy.

Arrive home, change clothes take bath.

Rest…

Online’ing… lol

Was energetic when I'm home...

Was finding you chat while...

Just want & know some little thing...

well~~

4/3/2012

凌晨 3点钟

你问了我还要致电给你吗？

还是要待到明天？

也问了你的意愿，

所以

致电和你聊天

其实，要找你和你好好的聊天。

真的不容易的。

当然，也知道你不会自动的寻找我。

和你聊天

总是有一句没一句的聊着

不再像从前，那样的自然…

尽量的让自己找话题和你聊..

否则，都是一片空白…

心里问着自己

是怎么了？

也许，

我们都变了…

接近凌晨4点钟

你说要睡了

听着你的语气，似乎不快..

你要说再见，我也说再见。

只是，没有道晚安了….

知道你累了，

也羞愧于打扰你了…

毕竟，难的你有时间休息…

自己反而打扰…

*常常问自己，身边的确很多人。

 为何我的眼睛只看见你 ？ *

明明一直都知道不可能。

而你和我，仅仅只是朋友而已。

在网络上...

emm...

就让心情到这里...

不想 over think / think too much...

毕竟，这是自己的想法而已...

Tan

是你的，自然就会自动的找你。

不要担心...

虽然，我知道你一直很想和对的人定下来。

也许，不懂会要等多久。

但，老天一定会给你对的和最好的。

好好的工作，好好的为未来。

双亲逐渐的老了，家里需要依靠你的。

你要加油 ！！！

生活，不容易。

照顾好自己，才能好好的打拼 ！！！！

 好了，

晚安了。